I used to be a loner; even in a marriage with kids I felt alone.
Self-esteem was very low.
Then I heard that in order to increase self esteem, I needed to do more esteem-able things.
Turns out that for this loner, doing was far more effective than thinking.
Actions are far more important than intentions.
For me, the turnaround started when I followed some of the suggestions on The Just For Today Card.