bimini - Oh I didn't mean alone as in by myself...I have a fantastic family (around 25 of them in the house this year for the holiday!)...I am really happy to be with them. I meant alone as in...without your partner whom you expect to be with you during holidays. My sister always says "everytime I look at you at any event, there is an empty chair next to you. Why do you allow that?"....
And yes, he is married, albeit separated for the last 3 years. And quite interesting to hear your thoughts on the guilt and shame because it is very real. Being with me did not, nor does not, allow him to "handle" his life. This I know, and perhaps have always known and use to tell him I guess hoping he would agree. He got married and only months later, then they split up. But he never handled a divorce or anything legal despite always saying he has to because the stress was killing him, but rather than face it he instead hid from it and as I like to say....hid by "playing house" with me. We would act like a normal couple with a normal future eventhough we were solitary from friends all the time and no movement toward a future. This kept him sick and protected from responsibilities which run much further than financial. It's great you pay for your family and allowed them to keep the nice home you had, but it's so much more than that.