i really hope you make good use of your "retreat" time! i'd suggest getting busy on the steps.....at least the first step. as in write it out.....we have a 12 step section here, which is an awesome, and sadly under-utilized resource.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-1-a.html
if you don't dig in and explore WHY you do what you do, you'll just keep doing it. absolutely NO different than what we EXPECT and sometimes DEMAND of the alcoholic.