Thanks Lexie! Already done actually. Yesterday when I was coming in the door guy whom I asked not to let him up asked me for my name and unit # so he can alert the staff that he is not allowed up. I'm very lucky to live in a building where I know everyone and they take care of me. Of course this is always risky because I come in through a back door that uses a keyfob which he doesn't have a copy of anymore, but stand around there long enough and people constantly flow in and out so he can theoretically get in.
Either way, if he does access that way and comes to my door I have a deadbolt and a phone to call the police. He tried yesterday when we were arguing and when I walked in tried to force himself behind me pushing, but I got to the deadbolt and he was too drunk to use strength and eventually left. I won't be trapped in here though and he hasn't shown up since. I don't really expect him to any time soon as he typically will binge out and fall off the face of the Earth until the episode is over . The danger zone for me is going to be a week out or so when he sobers up and wants to come back with more promises to change.
I am practicing no each day. I'm even running to the store tonight and picking up some wine along with my groceries for me to keep in my place, something I couldn't do with him here (I am not a recovering, just forbid it in my house to support him). I am also putting my clothes away from laundry in the drawers he once occupied. I want to start practicing living alone again right now and accepting it so it becomes real. I had a lot of practice as they say in these situations - the relationship tends to be over long before it's actually over.
Much thanks to your support