Well now...time to wrangle in my anger!!
Boy oh boy have my eyes been open. Yeah I was on "my side of the street" (obviously not) but also feeding off of my teenagers anger. And I mean FEEDING off of it!
I recognized today that over the last week my AH has admitted he was powerless over alcohol and admitted he needs help, admitted he has a disease. The girls had their moment to speak what was on their minds and so did I, we all came to an understanding....or did we??
I find myself feeding off my teens negative energy. Yeah, he admitted this and said that but what is he doing about it, when will he do it, why isn't he jumping to get help he said he needed it.... I sound just like her, or she sounds just like me...??? For the last couple of days he has been flogged by me and our teen and today he said "that really doesn't help me ya know" and I know he is right. Alanon 101, he beats himself up enough, doesn't need my help, stop playing victim...
Now time to focus on me, I am working really hard to release my anger/disappointment. Time to take all this wasted energy and turn in around. Even my youngest made the comment at the dinner table to her dad she said "you seem to be doing much better dad".
As far as my teen....well she has her therapist appointment tomorrow and I am hoping they can work thru her anger as well.
I've said this before and I will probably say it again but it's back to step one - admitting I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.