Originally Posted by samantha14

Okay....me again....doing some good old fashioned soul searching at 3am......sorry in advance....

I don't think I take my recovery seriously....I want to but I haven't been "forced" to. In fact things in my life are going really well......I am excelling in my relationships, my job....so what if I drink?? And it's that thinking that lands me right back here.....anxious, panicky.....

I know the right things to say and the right things to do but why can't I put them into action like the good examples set here? What do I need to happen to really have this sink in? I want to give myself a good shake and make this stop. I want more than drinking myself to sleep. I want a life that is enjoyable to be a part of. I want to stop faking it. I want to be happy.

Well that's it for the soul searching I guess....nothing really gained from it....just more questions without answers.....meh