What I've noticed since moving out..
I used to have an itchy spot on my back that flared up every day, but there was no rash or skin issue around that spot. Since I moved out, I don't have that issue daily. I've used my back scratcher maybe 3 times since I've been in my new place. Stress shows up in funny ways huh?
I listen to music more and find myself just breaking out into a dance sometimes while cleaning or cooking. I used to do that, but hardly ever in the last year or so.
I haven't filed for divorce, but deep down I believe I will have to. AH isn't going to be able to give me what I want out of a relationship. He couldn't even fully accept why I left. He asked me 3-4 times if I was seeing someone. I kept telling him no, and then I started to get offended. Like, that could be the only reason I'd leave you?? Not the irresponsible behavior, blaming, laziness, procrastinating....no not that.
The last time we talked, he talked as if I would simply come back home once my lease was up. That let me know he doesn't take me seriously. I don't care if he does or doesn't.
What I'm still struggling with is this misplaced guilt and obligation to him that I feel. I've taken on some type of motherly role in this relationship, because I am no longer attracted to him and I would check behind him like I would have done my son at a much younger age. I haven't been to counseling or al-anon in years, but I know I need to go.
I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but since we've been together (7 yrs), I've broken up with him twice and always went back without demanding more for myself. I can't go through that again.