Well I started drinking to fit in and because I was a huge fan of the rock & roll lifestyle. I worked 2 jobs through university and that wasn't very "cool" till I switched to a bartending job and all of a sudden, I was someone everyone wanted to be around because I was aloof, always hungover from a "great" night and always able to give away free drinks and knew everyone at the bars. That was from about 17-20, then from 21 onwards (I'm now 28) it turned into more of an isolating thing.
When I was drinking and out, I felt like I was somehow cool. I'm heavily tattooed, didn't give a crap and drank and took drugs and in my head, that's what I equated with being normal based on my circle of friends and who I thought I wanted to be.
Then I started drinking at home, isolating and all of a sudden it turned dark. That feeling of trying to be something I'm not because I wasn't comfortable with being entirely who I am turned into losing myself, my interests and just focusing entirely on the bottle. It was my saviour from anxiety, from shame, depression, self-loathing, social situations (despite my previous socialising, I hate bars and always have. They smell and are full of people who were drunk and arrogant like my family members and incidentally, me!)
It's only now I'm sober that I see that the things I tried to conceal and change, are actually pretty decent.