Welcome back SS. Staying sober is certainly not easy, but it is possible - you proved that for almost 3 years. One of the things that is the most difficult is changing the things that we do and the people we do them with. People who tell you that they are relieved that you are drinking again are NOT your friends in any shape or form. Those kinds of people are called "drinking buddies" ;-)
Everyone here gets it...you can tell us how you feel and we know why you don't want to drink. And no one will tell you otherwise. Have you considered seeking any local support via meetins? That's a great place to meet like minded people as yourself.