Because I was lonely. Bored. Anxious. Happy. Sad. Because I could.
To me, the reasons no longer matter. I spent hours pondering why? I thought if I could control the why, I could control my intake. Sometimes it worked. But when it didn't work, the results were horrible and potentially catastrophic. In the end, the why is meaningless to me. What does have meaning is the simple fact that if I drink, the best result is I'll feel wretched and hungover and the worst result is that someone will end up dead or injured or I'll end up in jail. It's like playing Russian roulette. So the why changes from why do I drink to why would I risk my and others happiness and well being.