Dealing with reality
Hello everyone. I am 16 months sober and I talked to a family member about drinking. My family of origin is very dysfunctional. Sobriety has forced me to deal with a lot of the sick things from my past. A lot of it involves violence, mental illness, deceit, depression, etc. Alcohol was a way not to deal with reality. I was wondering if anyone has any experience with facing the truth in sobriety? It kind of hurts to know that I come from people who hurt one another.
Did sobriety give you strength to deal with this kind of stuff? I have felt alone my whole life and I always felt more comfortable doing intellectual work. There was never any peace in my childhood and I was in a chaotic relationship when I got sober.
Sorry to ramble. I am very depressed, alone, and burned out. I am trying to finish law school and I feel very hurt at 16 months. I can see, for the first time, how sick I was from drinking for so long. I want to fix some other areas of my life but I just feel worn out. Do you just have to bear it and continue to grow? My recovery book I read said that I have to live an authentic life and be honest. Getting away from my sick family makes me feel alone, but if I try to learn something about them I just end up feeling worse. The people with whom I share DNA are very ill. One of my relatives had electro shock treatment.
Anyway. I used to drink to just escape reality. Now that I have some consistent, strong sobriety I am very scared. It just hurts to look at the truth.
But dealing with sobriety makes us stronger, right? Getting sober requires strength and endurance, yes?
I just feel stuck and I no longer want to be stuck.