Amber23

I reread a post I made last year at this time..' I am angry even though he isn't drinking...?? seriously?'...
WOW same thing happening a year later....


after a year of consistent drinking (after losing his 2nd job to alcoholism last year), 2 weeks ago I had to call an ambulance when I found him in disoriented state. Unable to articulate, unable to recognize me and daughter..He was like a lost scared animal. He must have had a withdrawal siezure in the early morning.

This was the 4th time this has happened in a long time....but this time I had no warning to the withdrawals,,,,no coughing spasms or shaking etc....it has been 3-4 years of worrying and waiting for this to hit again.

i handled it like a pro....frightening how cool and calm I have become in these dire situations. It took 12 hours for him at hospital to recognize me and put words together. I missed work and stayed by his side in the ER while he hallucinated and babbled and would try to leave,,,,Then he was back to normal all tests were fine.....and back to a drink after released...

it was more stressful because my in-laws were upset by my response of not bringing him home (UNCLEARED by a doctor and without an MRI), so he could go to work the following day and not get fired..... I refused to bring him home until he saw neurologist.....and apparently this was the wrong thing to do in their eyes.

They have funneled so much money to pay our rent and get him back on his feet to get a job......they want to control and fix and live in denial he is drinking....and blame me for not adhereing to some "plan" they have devised....

I work full time and care for our DD. I work very hard and I do not slack and I try to keep our heads above water....and yet I am still at fault. I can feel their frustration in things they think I should do differently.....and it hurts because they are my only family in town. I love them and have been in their lives for 17 years.....and there is not a mention of how I am coping or even DD. Just what I 'need' to do for him and judgements on things they don't understand.

I get it though as a parent and I try not to be offended, but there have been several things that are starting to get to me.

I don't mean to go on about my issue with them and skirt around AH, but it makes it so much harder for me and I try to find posts of how others have dealt with the in-laws who are so involved in their life. This is a family I thought cared about me but really I am just a piece in this puzzle.....it really hurts and confuses me. I don't know how to handle them or process my feelings toward them.

I know I need to leave him and the holidays are making this even worse. but I know it is time and I am trying to sort it out with little $$ and prepare. just sucks doubting myself and feeling like an island in this problem. I tried Alanon but didnt love it...

i hope to get counseling for DD and myself but $50 each copays per visit aren't possible just yet. I am overhwlemed with the 'hows' behind leaving him and how to deal with the holidays for the sake of my 7year old.

I rearead the replies from my post last year....I think are they more useful today. I truly heard them this time.....

I would welcome any new responses to such a patterned problem...sure hope I am not reading this post in the same place next year....