I must confess that I tend to shy away from your threads Cow. I think that's because when I've tried to offer a different perspective in the past you have seemed to reject it out of hand. This has lead me to believe that offering a different way of looking at things was a waste of time, and perhaps even a source of aggravation for you. I ventured into this thread (not reading it all but) trying to get a flavor for it. Your post (# 61) made an impression on me.
It's dripping with a nihilism that I believe contributes to a desire to drinking and/or use for many. Consider the idea that you may not be completely correct in your world view. Sometimes what seems to be common sense is not. We're talking about the nature of reality. I'm not trying to get you to adopt any set of beliefs about reality. I'm just trying to have you consider the idea that all your beliefs may not be beyond question.
I'm just going to leave you with two generally accepted scientific facts. They seem to be at odds with our common sense notions about the world. I point them out only to illustrate how wrong common sense can be. If common sense can be so wrong, perhaps assumptions about the randomness of everything (to which you referred) might also be incorrect. Just a thought.
Fact one. Time (and space) had a beginning.
Fact two. Light, from its own point of view, exists outside of space and time.
There is so much in physics which points to a reality which begs to differ with our common sense ideas. Holding onto conclusions, based on these common sense ideas, seems a bit silly and often illogical in light of the facts. I bring this up only because you seem to be stuck, and it seems to be hurting you.
I sincerely hope that I have not been a source of aggravation. All the best to you.