Originally Posted by
Volshen 
I guess on those days my heart just isn't in staying away from a drink .. no motivation.
Such is the peril of one-day-at-a-time experimental stops from drinking. It's a daily "should I or shouldn't I" drink, back and forth, inner debate.
The only solution is to definitively end that debate, and to not rely on daily whims. For example, you may decide that you will simply never drink again, regardless of your motivation on any given day thereafter.
It really is that simple, and if you continue drinking, one day that choice will probably be forced upon you by raw, dread fear. The price for procrastinating that decision may be very high by then, however.
So, don't wait for a miracle, or for a moment of clarity. Create your own moment of clarity, by thinking about where you are headed, and be the miracle that you have always been.