Hi sunshine.
I once drank the way you are. Long ago it was all fun - a way to celebrate. Then I began to use it to cope with problems. My drinking increased - it was no longer just on weekends. I was making stupid decisions, putting myself in danger. Like you, drunk me was dumb. Also self-destructive. I couldn't imagine stopping all together so I tried to use willpower to manage it. Over the years I grew dependent on it. In the end, I was drinking all day with my life in shambles. I never dreamed I'd let that happen. The only way to stay safe was to stop all together. It feels so good to be free of it.
I'm glad you're here with us. I wish I'd reached out for some help when I first saw the danger signs. Congrats on your 34 days! Be proud of that.