Volshen,
Sounds like you are still drinking.
Until you stop for a solid week, you are still physically addicted.
After that the suffering of the healing process begin. This is physical and mental.
I crave still at 18 months clean. I am still getting used to sobriety.
Respect booze as an addictive, slow acting, brain damaging toxin. Even in small doses, booze alters our mind. Why would we want that? Because we are addicted.
The short term, drunken euphoria is rediculous when looked at from an analyst view.
Booze changes how our brain operates for a long time. Why would we want that?
Because booze is highly addictive.
We can achieve our full potential, no matter what age we are, when we forget about our addiction and live life fully clean.
Like my sober wife says....forget about it. Move on.
It works.