Personally, as an alcoholic with eight years of sobriety and someone who has been around alcoholism/recovery since my first husband got sober in 1980, I have no clue what "stage 4" means. I've heard the term "end-stage" for people close to death, but no other "stages"--and I suspect that's because the disease progresses differently in everyone.
Anger and blame-shifting are common among alcoholics in general. As you said, you blew her cover and have disrupted her comfortable existence. Too bad for her. As you said, what's happened is her doing.