What happened was you came thisclose to losing your kids.
Iwish,
It's time.
You know, I don't think I ever talked about what brought me to this forum. I used to frequent a different forum when I was having doubts about leaving my husband. Then another member came on and said that she'd reported me to the mods, and that she'd recommended they look up my ISP and report me to CPS, because if I wasn't going to leave my ex after all this I deserved to have my kids taken away. I still don't think she was right for doing that- but it helped me to wake up... a little. It still took time, sadly. It's such a process, because we become so distrusting of ourselves. But somehow we have to fight through the fog.
I'm so thankful that my children weren't taken from me. I know I got lucky.
Please be careful.