Bob,
What you are dealing w is not a mysterious force....you are not weak, or crazy...
You are addicted. Like being addicted to cigarettes, cocaine, or meth.
The addiction is physical and mental.
It will take about a week to detox. Then your body and mind will take months and years to heal and get used to normalcy.
I thought I was going insane at 80 days clean. I googled my feelings and found SR. The wacky feelings I was dealing w was my brain dealing w life w out drugs. It has a lot to do w dopamine and endorphins. Exercise helps recovery.
I got the information I needed to analyze my situation. Addiction lies in the emotional mind. We use analysis to defeat it.
That is why we say...play the tape. We know the outcome before we even start drinking. Because we remember why we quit.
AA was later in my recovery. I really haven't used it directly. I do pray every day and admit to God he is in control of me etc.
Read the stickies...make a recovery plan.
Read and post. Accountability and belonging help w recovery.
Thanks.