Hi, I think my husband has this. He has asked me for divorce 3 times after any little thing happens that made him feel unsafe. He has told me he is not atracted to me and he hates many things I do. Then Immediatly he tells me he loves me and he acts so sweet. My psychologist told me he is an emotional abuser. I fall in depression now. However I have a sister with the same characteristics but we saved her 5 years ago and since then and therapy and medication she is so much better now. My husband tells me he knows he hurts me everytime he mets a new woman and tells me she is the love of his life even though there is no sex and I believe him. He tries to find somebody he things is a person who is good, maybe somebody better than me. But I have try to help him so much because I pass that with my sister. Our divorce is going to be final in 3 weeks and it is affecting me so much. He withrow from me emotionally 2 months before he met this woman and I was just waiting for him, asking him to talk to me but he was too much on the internet or phorno or drinking. He asked me for divorce. He said it hurts him when he hurts me. I am his 3er wife. He said he would try a psychologist and I told him I would help him if he needs it. However my psychologist does not advice me to see him because I am a codependent, enabler or act like his mother. As a child of an alcoholic I would stay loyal even though my husband would not deserve it. My husband feels that emptiness you talk about. He tried to kill himself when he was 15 after a girlfriend left him. I want to stick around because his family live in another city and his friends just drink and think I am the strange person because I dont drink. I love him but he hurst me, my parents are afraid he would hurt me physically someday because he is tired of me. I told him about this forum. I will send him your link and maybe you can advise him sometime. He is 37 and he has so many qualities if he just would be able to believe that he has them. He said it does not count when I tell him because I want a marriage forever. It counts when other new woman say it more. He has the most of this characteristics you name here.
Is this curable. How long? Is this genetic? Is this maybe an effect because children use to laugh of his hair since he remembers or because his parent was absent all the time almost?
Does he need a psychologist or a psyquiatrist? Thanks