Very interesting. I still can't figure out the A in my life. On one hand he is a classic narcissist, but on the other he often discusses his problems as the result of things HE'S done. Meaning, he is fully aware that he is the problem.The only time I see the scapegoating is when he brings up how his father treated him - which may or may not be true - as being the reason he is the way he is, but still does not condone his behavior towards others.
The part that makes all this the more tricky is when you can't trust who they are because you don't know if they themselves truly believe what they tell you, which in my case is rational awareness of his problem and his responsibility, or they are just telling you so you shut up. That in other words is their brain so damaged they really believe their own delusions?
The A said to me, "you will never have to go through this again" as he was putting away all the bottles of household items containing alcohol I dragged out to the car and locked during his last binge. I wondered to myself, does he truly believe what he is saying right now eventhough history has proved that he WILL do it again? In other words, how much damage has all the alcohol and poisonous items he has ingested done to his brain.