you didn't cause it
you cant control it
you cant cure it
it reads like a lot of codependency issues youre dealing with, which naranon would be very helpful for you.
all of the actions youre doing, in reality, are aiding in her destruction; you are helping her destroy herself. you are enabling her to continue the same self destructive behavior.
broken, imo youre not in a relationship. youre a hostage. you meet the ransoms and new ones are set.
its time to look out for you because this situation has helped you lose yourself. time to look out for #1=YOU.
I suggest ya head over to the F&F of substance users forum here and do some reading. theres some great stickies at the top of both that forum and the F&F of alcoholics forum. read some of the threads there and even start one.
you don't deserve to live like this any more!