Originally Posted by
hearthealth 
The AH family could live in denial until two years ago. IMO the only way they could deal with it was blame me and treat me like the outcast.
I've been scapegoated and outcast so I know exactly how that feels.
Originally Posted by
hearthealth It's about dealing with the constant reminders of the lack of a relationship. I rsvp that ah had to work. Sil stated bummer. She did not even ask if I or the cousins can come. I guess I'm still the outcast or am I just taking the victim role?
Could your SIL be trying to reach out to you by inviting you in an attempt to try to start healing the situation ?
Are you normally in contact with your SIL ?
Maybe your SIL thought that you didn't want to come and didn't want to push it by asking if you or the cousins could come ?
In an emotional cutoff, it is easy for people to misconstrue motives. If I was in your position I would not assume anything, I would talk directly to your SIL and avoid any triangulation. Direct communication can avoid a lot of issues.