It's tough, I think there's a place for both ways forward, when I was beginning to realise that I had an issue with alcohol, I would start to recall all the comments, all the times loved ones, friends, family members had said something, and slowly but surely I started to realise that after all this time, they may have had a point, without those memories I may not be where I am now, who knows, but those comments and people saying things about my drinking had an effect and strengthened my resolve once I started the ball rolling to get Sober.
However I balance that with the most heartbreaking moment of my life, which was my dad passing away as a result of alcohol, not even admitting he had a problem, not sorry for anything that alcohol caused him to do in other people's lives, there was no talking to him and having to watch alcohol destroy someone to the point of death and not being able to do anything, feeling frustrated, helpless and completely defeated by alcohol was a very lonely place and being powerless to stop it.
Overall we can hint, we can comment, we can talk and we can encourage, and I fully support doing something, it helped me, but the final decision rests with the person themselves, and if they don't want to change, then I am afraid someone can drink themselves into destruction without even a blink of an eye about how alcohol has caused any of it.
Support is key for you, and here on SR there is plenty, also Al-Anon is a great place for face to face support.
Addiction is a serious business . . . do all you can, and hope that the person themselves has it within them an ambition to change themselves!!
