I love or have loved all kinds of people who weren't or will never be my partner. Love, for me, is no longer enough. For a life partner, there has to be a common outlook and morality and lifestyle. My friends' drinking, financial skills, desire for children or lack thereof, do not impact my life the way a partner's would.
velma, I wish I had understood this much earlier in my life, but I'm grateful to get to understand it
at all, never mind
when. I still love XAH, if I'm honest about it, but even if he came gift wrapped with the Underwriter's Laboratory Seal of Sobriety, at this point in my life I would NOT marry him again. We are too different in some very basic ways.
Love is a necessary thing to a marriage or partnership, but it can't be the ONLY thing...