Sorry for delay, guys. Redatlanta....Very good questions... And, I should say that he himself, is NOT boring. The relationship is. We've settled into comfortable, going through the motions of work, life, kids, bills, aging parents, job stress, car problems, health issues.....YOU KNOW....LIFE.....unfortunately, I am craving romance, drama, girly crap still. We've been together for over a year and a half and I guess I figured I'd be happy settling in to what truly is an easy going normal suburban life.
I wonder if I just didn't sow my oats enough? And, that's really on me. Because when I tell my girlfriends about what my man does for me, how he treats me, what our life really looks like, they all respond with, "Wow, you've found a great guy!!" Not only is he a good man who treats me well, but his kids love me too and are always happy to see me and my son. They are welcoming and loving and they fill my heart with joy to the point where I sometimes cry.
And then, I sit there feeling empty....not all the time. LOL, when he pays attention to me, on my terms, well then I'm happy. Why? I know why....
Yes, I'm controlling(I am a freaking mess if you really look beneath my surface) but I don't ask him for more than what he's able to give because he's been honest with me about who he is, what his limits are within a relationship, what his needs are, what he truly desires in a partner and what he expects from me.
When I truly have a deep 'need' or desire for him to step up or comfort me or love me in some way, I tell him. I ask for what I need but I know that I often 'need' much more than any human is able to give me. And, again, that is on me. Our dance, so to speak, works for us today. No matter who I am with or who I enter into a relationship with, I believe that I will always want more from them even if they give everything they've got. That, again, is on me. For me to fix. For me to figure out how to let God in, to learn to love ALL of me and all of my inequities.
One thing I've learned is that I look inside myself before I ask my partner to meet a need (unless i'm completely hormonal and need a super big hug which he'll give me!)