Nopro,
Welcome. You have a problem. We here all do. You are here to solve it.
Routinely not remembering what happened the night before is a black out. That is a problem. Normal drinkers have those maybe 1 or 2 times...in their life. Maybe.
Like me, you are addicted to booze. It is physical. you don't crave..yet..in the am because you have a daily supply of booze in your body. Come 4 pm, it is fading. Your brain and body need it to feel normal.
Get through the physical addiction...about a week to a month. Then the mental shows through. This lasts...imo...forever.
For Many months the crave is very strong...and then for the rest of our lives...like a cry baby in our brains. For ever. Not all day..thankfully....just sometimes during the day.
That is why folks relapse over and over.
Get clean. Change your lifestyle a bit. Stay clean.
Thanks.