Originally Posted by
SoberLifeForMe 
This is complete lunacy. I can't believe I willfully did this to myself yet again. And I'm scared that in a few days, when I'm feeling better, I'll do it all over. This needs to stop. I can't go through this again.
Yep, addiction is pretty much lunacy. There is no logical explanation for it and accepting that it simply "is" was the only way out for me. Perhaps you could be proactive so you don't drink again when you feel better? By that I means actively address the addiction by attending meetings, spending time here, seeing a counselor, etc. Simply "not drinking" is not equal to being sober.