Originally Posted by
SoberLifeForMe 
This is complete lunacy. I can't believe I willfully did this to myself yet again. And I'm scared that in a few days, when I'm feeling better, I'll do it all over. This needs to stop. I can't go through this again.
I have been there more times than I would like to remember. Try looking into mindfulness. It has been a big part of my recovery and I am still working on it, nowhere near mastered yet. I also find journaling helps me get out how I am feeling.
Post as much as you need to on here. Glad you are back!