I want to thank all of you for all your kind words. I know I don't respond much, but I come to SR and read not just my threads but others as well and it has been some help.
I know that letting go of some of this stuff and moving on is important, but even though some people seem to be able to do that in seconds or days .... it does take me a bit longer.
I don't feel like I can write all my long term friends from SR to let them know how I'm doing, so I use this thread.
Things are moving in the right direction, but very slowly and as one friend told me a few months ago ... you'll be ok but things may get worse before they get better (and I say that with a smile).
The transition from my old job to my new one is very frightening and stressful even though it is a good direction. I didn't interview or anything cause this is just a lateral change that is part of an organizational plan for change. When I called my new boss a month ago, I told her that I am on a cane and some of the position description I would not be able to do (lift boxes and walk long distances each day). No one had told her, and I understand people don't want to make others focus on things that are just prejudice (like he's black, she has ugly scars), but I think it is important for people to know if you have issues that will have to be worked around. She was awesome. It isn't a problem at all. But (a good but) once she knew about my small limitations, they changed the plan to put me in an office that has easier access for issues like canes or perhaps walkers.
So things are good but scary
I have a wig that I will be practicing putting on so I can wear it Monday. I always had fine thin hair, but after the last hospitalization and the stress the last few months ... well (LOL) I almost have no hair. I thought making this change with my new job would be a good idea.
I'm not one to come on here and try to be the cheery cheery Joy Joy voice. I just try to be honest. So I know that no one person can "save" me from my alcoholism. I know that fear of consequences will not save me from my alcoholism. I have not found that a god or higher power can save me from my alcoholism. But I do believe I can stay sober AND HAPPY if I do what I nee to do mentally, physically and in my ungodly faith
thank you to all of you again
