Welcome to SR, thetroubledone--glad you found us here. I hope you can spend some time reading around the forums. Make sure not to miss the stickied threads at the top of the page; they're ones that people on the forum found extra helpful and that the admins have permanently saved so they can be easily accessed.
As far as your partner being classified as an alcoholic or not, I think I'd call someone whose drinking is ruining her life an alcoholic--I don't care if she IS able to "control" it for a few months at a crack. But the name or label isn't what really matters. What's important is how it's affecting your life. If her drinking is a problem for you, then it's a problem.
I think as you read the stories here, you'll find a lot that resonates w/you. You are not alone, not by a long shot. Can I also suggest checking into Alanon for some in-person support and education for yourself? Learning about alcoholism (regardless of what her doctor called it or didn't call it) and what you can and can't do about it is going to be helpful for you as you move forward.
Again, welcome to SR--I hope you keep reading and posting here.