You know he doesn’t drink at you or too you to causes you to worry or get sever anxiety or have panic attacks. All of those things are your response to your chose to remain in a relationship with an A believing that you somehow have the power to save him.
I am devastated and not sure how to release this to God and be okay that his life isn't in my hands.
If that were true and his life has been in your hands while dating, then explain why he’s still a mess and still drinking? Somehow that’s one excuse we tell ourselves when WE are not ready to give up our own addiction to the addict, except we don’t see it as addiction we call it love.
I learned a long time ago that you can’t control someone’s negative behavior you can only control how long you participate in it.