Thank you Dandy. I so needed to hear this. Ironically tonight the party just got cancelled, but it really doesn't matter right? I needed to get my mind back into my own recovery because I already started feeling that internal conflict of making him feel better even if it meant letting him hang around me at a bar tonight. He can make his own decisions, but I need to make mine and put myself first. And that means enjoy an evening out (maybe I will make other plans now!) for myself that does not include making the A feel normal.
Nobody was helping me feel normal when I spent the week alone while he was drunk.