Abf wants to join me at the bar?
My Abf is only 2 days sober after coming off a recent and very severe binge.
Pre-binge I invited him to a party that I was looking forward to attending tonight for a friend's birthday which is being held at a bar. I always make him aware beforehand that alcohol will be present at any potential events we attend. When he is in a period of sobriety our life is very normal, and while I avoid drinking around him, we still go places where alcohol is around.
Due to the nature of our relationship we don't often get to be around friends together so he was looking very forward to it as was I. What I didn't know of course was that it would coincide with the latest binge. Trying to maintain a level of normalcy and lift his depression, he wants to come with me tonight. I understand that it is his way of trying to get close to me and be near me again since I have become very detached from him just as progressively as he has been relapsing, but I don't think this is a good idea.
Do I think bringing him there will make him drink? No. But does it seem a little insane to head out to a bar together on a Friday night just 2 days sober? Yes. Before we met he spent Friday nights at meetings and going to dinner afterward with other RAs. To me, someone who is serious about their sobriety would be diving into that tonight, not hanging around a girlfriend who they just hurt very badly at a bar.
I get he wants normalcy so badly, especially now that everything is in shambles, but to me this would be enabling once again and sending the message that everything is fine and back to normal. Something that we keep doing and clearly isn't working.
Am I wrong on this??