Hearthealth, may I give you a newcomer's advice?
Guard your heart. Don't expose it carelessly, and don't let it get hard.
Reading your account has opened my eyes to what I've felt in my family and never realized, only it wasn't my in laws, it was my own. We aren't invited unless I find out by the grapevine and call. (For good reason, of course, nobody wants to be tasked with the awkwardness of conversation)
It hurts. But I'm beginning to realize that it is a two way street. On the other side of a strained relationship is a person who is hurting, too.