Welcome, Bulgakov,
I think your feelings are similar to what many of us face in early recovery. It's a bit overwhelming as we look at the messes we've made and where we'd like to be. In my case, I found I was not the person I had believed I was and that was very disconcerting. My suggestion is to go slow, make a list and try to accomplish two or three things each day. You will feel like you're accomplishing something and you will be moving forward. You're right that this will not be a quick fix. In fact, I feel that recovery is a way of life.
