Hi Bulgakova,
That definitely rings true for the way I felt in the very early stages but beleive me it does get better if you stick with it.
Check out the October class thread - plenty of people who are at the same stage as you and some great support there - I found this extremely helpful for the early stages of recovery.
Keep going though it is the best thing you will ever do - being a parent your children spend their life trying to make you proud of them - do this for them and make them proud of you.