No longer numbed and reality is crashing in.
Hello all,
9 days sober. That part is easy. I'm so tired of being drunk, to the bottom of my soul. Don't want it, don't miss it, don't even want to look at a beer can. It stopped feeling good a long time ago. But I can't say I feel very good either. I understand that this is normal, especially this fresh in, but still unnerving, nonetheless.
My brain adjusting to sobriety is very tiresome, and I've been glued to my bed. I make the effort to eat good things and get exercise, do a couple chores, but then find myself immediately back to lounging. All the things I was actively numbing out with booze are also hitting me all at once.
It is apparent to me now that I am quite dysfunctional. Emotionally childish. Full of anger and resentment. Self-centred. A bad employee. Not a great parent. And that I somehow have to do something about it, and that this is not fast, nor easy. I have started therapy, and feel like I've just touched the tip of the iceberg, and feel a little overwhelmed about how much work needs to happen. Also frankly taken aback that I have allowed myself to have gotten that far into madness with the booze...
Meanwhile, time is ticking, life is continuing, while I lay there like a bomb just went off and I'm a part of the debris. I'm elated that I finally took the plunge, and know that life will improve, but could use some insight from those who have been there, to get through this very peculiar part.
I specifically could use some other people's stories of how they felt freshly sober, so I could perhaps get some clarity on my own situation.
Thank you for your time.