Thanks to all for their advice and encouragement. I've made big steps this week toward a sustained recovery - I met with Frank my sober coach and we are going to put together a plan re: my goal to give up drinking and all the little steps I need to take/change to make that happen re: lifestyle. I also chose a new therapist yesterday who deals in both substance abuse and ADHD. We agreed to work one on one first to deal with the emotional/thinking aspects of alcohol addition and recovery. Then he will work with my son on his ADHD and our family situation.
Today was really tough. My son was home from school (holiday) and since my husband works there too they both were home - he didn't give my son his meds so when I walked the half hour home to help him with his homework, it was just a disaster to get him to focus. The tension in our house is so thick you can cut it. Everyone says not to make big lifestyle changes in your first year of sobriety but I'd like nothing more than than just get my own place for a couple of months to get my sanity. I don't know what's worse - the environment in our house or my son having to see us separate. Anyway, I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I was so frustrated with homework, I eventually went upstairs and had a good cry. My son came in looking for football gear and asked me what was wrong. I just said it was a stressful day and I'm worried that he needs to focus on doing his work for school. He just gave me a big hug. He sure knows my husband and I aren't getting along. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. My birthday is this Friday - I'll be 51. This feels like the worst time of my life.