Hi Helen - That point about the acceptability of solo wine drinking versus solo vodka is such an interesting one! It's seen as fine to pour a "nice glass of wine" on your own (or even a G&T), and media images bombard us with images of people doing just that. We're told that it's sophisticated, even. But reaching for the vodka would be seen in a completely different way - even though it's essentially the same stuff! The messages that wine / cocktails = female bonding are very strong (same for messages about men and beer, I guess).
My position is that I can't be sure what I "fully intend" in the future - at least, not yet. I've been through several cycles of attempting moderation - making promises to myself and my husband about "only at weekends" or "only the recommended units" - and I've broken them every time. Because of my repeated broken promises (which I truly meant at the time!), I find it difficult to trust myself. That's why I find it easier to get my head around a year to begin with - it feels achievable in a way that "forever" doesn't at the moment, but it's also long enough for me to (hopefully!) see real change and want to continue the commitment. I guess what I'm really saying is that I am trying to coax myself to a point where I genuinely don't want to drink. I understand - logically - that alcohol doesn't do anything good for me. But the underlying sense that I'm still denying myself something hasn't gone away. I hope that the more "evidence" I can build up for myself that I can live happily without alcohol, the easier it will be to smash that AV / inner 3 year old down!
Aside from Dry January (which I've done several times to 'prove' to myself that I didn't have a problem - in itself, a sure sign that I did!), this 6 weeks is the longest I have been without alcohol in my adult life. I have never committed to a long and serious quit before, and in a way, I see that as an advantage: having been in a cycle of failed moderation, I don't want to get into a cycle of quitting then relapsing, as I know I will lose trust in myself more each time that happens. So for my personal psychology, I think a renewed commitment each year is likely to be more successful. We're also hoping to start a family next year - so that will be a further reason to keep up my sobriety.
I'll stop wittering now... I don't post for ages, then two long rambles in one day!