Do you name these 'brownout' rather than 'blackout' because you feel as if you remember some, but not all? Like a 'semi blackout'? I think all alcoholics experience these at some points during their drinking career. It was one of the things that made me realize I didn't drink normally and drank differently from others who could handle their drink better even when having plenty. And the bad conscience from them is terrible, especially when you consider yourself a person of somewhat high moral standards when sober.