Hi Sunshine
Accepting I couldn't drink again was a life changing decision for me. I began to find that, through my sober choices, my life began to reflect the real me much more than my drinking life ever did.
I found peace, meaning joy and serenity - that was a great step up from doing things over and over again that were self destructive.
I cannot express to you how glad I was I found my real self again and how glad I am to be living this life I've built,.
Not drinking alcohol seems to me a ridiculously small price to pay for that.
If you really enjoy doing things with your friends there's no reason why you can't continue to do them, just without drinking.
Build up some sober muscles first tho. Work on your recovery and reinforce the reasons you want to be sober. Too much too soon will drag you back down - as you've found out.
But.. it's really the *drinking* you enjoy with your friends then I think you have to choose and decide like I had to - I can drink..or be who I want to be - but not both.
D