Devastated
Hi everyone - it's been a while since I posted. My drinking has not improved much, even with the help of a therapist during the last month or two. During that time, things have gotten increasingly stressful within my household. We are struggling with our son's ADHD as his homework has increased dramatically in 5th grade. My husband still won't address his own ADHD and makes everyday life more difficult.
I've realized I need to get better help with my drinking so I found a great organization comprised of certified recovery specialists who are themselves in long-term recovery and they work on one one with clients to help them develop better tools to sustain recovery such as stress management, communication, etc. My first appointment is this Wednesday with my coach, Frank. They also offer Smart Recovery classes which I'm going to attend too. This is the most hope I have right now in my life.
My husband told me yesterday point blank that his relationship with his son is more important than our marriage. He's unwilling to do any work on his end - he's rather spend time playing Pokemon Go with my son, driving around while doing so (extremely dangerous), getting into fits of anger and otherwise just checking out of being in a marriage. This is not how I saw my marriage unfolding 15 years ago when we married. I now realize I don't have a marriage. I gave him a son thinking it's us a couple first but he now has a best friend. But before I can tackle getting out of this dysfunctional relationship, I have to get sober. My son deserves it and I deserve it.
One thing the therapist I've been seeing said was that before I help my son, I have to put my own oxygen mask on (taking care of my health and getting sober).
This is where I'm at and just trying to absorb the fact that my life is going to need to change drastically to keep my health and sanity. One day at a time I guess. Anyone else out there with a child centered marriage or this type of situation? I feel very alone.