I really want to understand this the way the rest of you do. But, I'm still confused! When I act as though nothing is happening (when he drinks) then I believe it makes it much easier for him to keep drinking.
In order to not get involved with his drinking I keep busy (helping the kids with homework, cleaning, paying bills, doing paperwork...). He comes home from work and sits on the couch (watches tv or reads the paper). It's very difficult.
He has been trying not to drink for about 3 weeks now. He has been coming home from work earlier (I guess when you don't stop at a bar or liquor store you can get home on time). But, he walks in, says 'hello' (kisses all of us) and then sits down to read the paper until dinner is ready.
This sounds so 'Archie Bunker'. I don't know.
Sorry to go on and on. But, this really has helped me!
NoDoubt?