Originally Posted by
Hangnbyathread 
While she assured me that I should drink whenever I wanted, in the end, whether we drink or not, won't really make a difference to them. They will drink, or they wont, it has nothing to do with us.
RAH has expressed the exact same thought & even reminded me that he was never the drink-at-home kinda guy anyway... and that they sell Bud Light everywhere if he was tempted.
But *I* find it uncomfortable to drink around him a lot of the time. It feels like a wall between us somehow, for no good reason. If we're out to dinner or on vacation & I really just want a drink, I have one... but in those situations there's no spotlight on my drink & it's a very small part of the whole "thing" we're doing. (& honestly I've loved not spending the majority of events walking between the beer tents & bathroom lines, lol) I don't ever drink when we're just hanging at home as a family & I've never been one to drink by myself to begin with.
I still go out with friends at least once per month so if I really feel the need to cut loose & have a couple, it's no biggie. But yes, to answer your question - IMO, this IS part of what we need to accept & set reasonable expectations around when we decide to stay with a partner in recovery.