Day 135. I start my new job next week and I am experiencing a renewed sense of hope; something that I haven't felt in a decade. I am certain that I was suffering from depression but was unable to separate it from my drinking. Was I depressed because of the effect of alcohol abuse or was I drinking to self-medicate the depression? A bit of both I'm sure but it doesn't matter now. By cutting out the booze and taking antidepressants, my mental health has undergone a remarkable change in 4 months even though my circumstances didn't change. It was all about brain chemistry and a distorted perception of things.