Originally Posted by
Rupert 
I feel like such a baby for posting on here every couple weeks even though I NEVER actually get my act together. I just keep doing the same ******* ******** every couple of weeks.
I will surely lose my job.
But... typing this made me feel better, but I need a real solution to this. Otherwise, I am seriously going to lose everything I love and maybe even my life.
Here we go again, for the LAST time. Fingers crossed.
Hi Rupert and welcome
These parts of your post jumped out at me and I can relate so much. For me posting on SR daily, all day sometimes is a critical part in me getting and staying sober. Posting when I have cravings, problems, fears, anything was instrumental in me getting sober. Never be afraid to post. It's not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength that you're reaching out for help. We've all been where you are and understand, probably better than people in your 'real' life. There will always be someone around to talk you out of drinking if you post when you're thinking of it. As you say, posting makes you feel better
I know I've made a complete fool of myself at work over the years. I'm not saying go to rehab - I and many others never do and get sober. But if losing your job is the only thing stopping you ask yourself - what are the chances of me losing my job if I keep drinking ? Going to work drunk, hungover, reduced performance etc and it only gets worse as we get older. You seem quite young, I know when I was in my 20s drinking seemed a bit of a laugh, we all did it ( ok I seemed to drink more than anyone else and never knew when to stop but everyone else was the same weren't they?)
When I got into my 30s and everyone else was settling down, getting promoted, reducing drinking and growing up the wheels were really starting to come off my life because of my drinking and I could never get any further forward in my career.
This isn't down to luck or keeping fingers crossed.A plan, support etc are crucial. Maybe look at the October class on here for extra support and keep posting.
Good on you for having the strength to reach out for help.