Had a load of limestone sand/gravel stuff delivered and I leveled the foundation with the tractor ... and did a pretty decent job too considering I am not an experienced tractor driver lol. Now tomorrow I just need to level it with a bit more finesse with the rake and voila ... ready to begin moving the limestone on. I think the run-in/stall/barn is coming Monday.
I had some panic attacks triggered by Court this afternoon, as you can see by my previous posts. But altogether had a good, productive day. At least I am sober and I wasn't sitting on my arse feeling extremely depressed and sorry for myself with loads of things to do and me just not doing them. Instead of hopeless on the whole I feel hopeful and more excited about my new, sober healthy life.
AA meeting tonight, thank the Creator. I didn't think I was going to find a ride but I did. I really miss my meetings now when I can't go. And when I don't want to go is
really when I should go. My reluctance going to AA in the first place has dissappeared. I was wrong. It isn't a religious program (unless you want it to be). For me it is about a Spiritual transformation and healing and that is exactly what I need. In my head I just translate what may appear religious and turn it to work with my Creator and personal spiritual truths. And I am making friends who are like me and understand. Every meeting I go to is a reminder I am committed to my sobriety, that I am not alone, and that I am working on Spiritual healing. The 12 Steps are an amazing spiritual blueprint for a good, honest and ethical life. I'm taking them and making them work for me. I am only on Step Two ... no need to rush. I want to do them properly and thoroughly.
I'm looking forward to seeing how everyone else's evening (or whatever time it is for you) is going for them.
