I'd like to change the title of your thread from "I have made a huge mistake" to "I was sooo right".
His current behavior only enforces the craziness you were living in. Kudos to you for having the strength to lay down the one year barrier.
In my experience, an A will try different tactics to make things be your fault and get their comfort zone back--or to avoid responsibility. This is simply a different tactic, and it's catching you off guard. Don't let it work. Look at the facts of WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. You don't want that life back. You can't have it back if you're going to do the best by your kids.
He indeed has a long way to go. An A in my life chose true sobriety, and I will tell you it was incredibly humble, accountable, responsible, and apologetic. In short, it was obvious. The blame stopped flying.
Please stick to your guns. I second the Alanon suggestion--it will help you sort yourself out and eliminate your feelings of guilt that you are somehow required to take care of another fully capable adult. He is in charge of his actions, choices, and life. You are in charge of yours.
Hugs to you.