Hi Peggysue!
Welcome to SR!
Like others have said, I thought in the back of my mind that I could quit if I ever NEEDED to, though my definition of need was rather fuzzy. I found myself too going through a lot of family and work stress and I thought alcohol was my only friend. Some friend, as I started having a drink in the morning while waiting for my coffee to brew.
I was a master of hiding my drinking, always having a half filled glass of wine that I topped off and gulped from the ever present box of wine in the fridge. Or, I had a can of Coke with me, usually filled mostly with rum. Though my wife knew I drank too much on occasion, she had no idea that I had crossed the line and lost control.
I found it so hard by the end, always calculating in my mind how much I could drink before I began to slur, or possibly had to drive somewhere, or how much I could drink and make it to work the next day. People don't realize how exhausting it is being an alcoholic.
I think you have probably hit your own rock bottom Peggysue. Not everyone has to wrap a car around a telephone pole or go to jail or get a DUI to hit rock bottom. When alcohol dominates your thoughts, it is time to seriously consider stopping.
I quit in my mid 50's. How I wish I had stopped at your age. Do it now!